


Still

by naomin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Body Worship, Canon Era, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:56:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4189482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naomin/pseuds/naomin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things change, and some things don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ephieshine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephieshine/gifts).



> Ephieshine asked for something with body worship on tumblr, I made it long and angsty and threw in a touch of some kinks of my own. Fun stuff!

 

       Erwin looks pretty good, Levi has to admit, for someone who’s officially still in the midst of recovering from the traumatic loss of a limb.  Erwin’s arm hasn’t even been gone for more than a week, and even though the risk of infection or other complications is low by this point, both his doctors and his friends agree that he should be _resting_ , at least.  It’s not something that seems to have gotten through Erwin’s head.  

           “It’s fine,” he says, after Levi finds him out of his room and deep in the midst of a discussion with a couple of military officials, and rudely breaks the meeting up.  “There’s no reason to treat me like this, Levi, I feel perfectly normal.”    

            _Well, you_ aren’t _,_ Levi almost snaps, but he catches himself just in time, and reminds Erwin that it’s almost time for his dressings to be changed, anyway.  

           Later, Levi watches as the bandages are carefully peeled away.   The wound underneath doesn’t look nearly as horrible as it once did, but it’s still raw and ugly.  Erwin gazes down silently at the stump that’s left of his arm as it’s inspected and wrapped back up, expression unreadable.

           After the doctor leaves, Erwin turns back to Levi, mouth suddenly spreading into an easy smile.  “May I go outside?” he asks, the hint of a joke unmistakable.  

           “There’s no real work for you, not now,” Levi answers testily.  He’s in no mood to be teased, Erwin’s arm and Erwin’s blank face still weighing too heavily on his mind.  

           “I was thinking more of going for a walk,” Erwin replies, unruffled.   

           As Erwin’s getting to his feet, there’s a split second where Levi can see him falter, leaning a little too far to the left against a counterweight that’s no longer there.  

          Levi leans too, ready to help before his mind even fully processes what’s happening.  Erwin’s smile shrinks.  But it’s only a little stumble, only for a second, and then he’s righted himself, and time continues to move on as if that second had never happened. 

          Levi breathes out.  

          “Would you like to come with me?” Erwin asks brightly.

-

          They’ve been intimate exactly twice in the time since Erwin lost his arm, though that feels almost like an odd way of describing it, since some of the other things Levi’s done with Erwin during the same time – seen his blood and bone, wiped sweat from his brow as he lay half-conscious in the hospital bed – have been plenty intimate, in their own way.  But he’s held Erwin two times.  Both times have been brief: kisses stolen during a rare moment of privacy, Levi’s hand on Erwin’s clothed crotch.  Nothing much beyond that.  Levi’s found himself hesitating, and not only because Erwin’s condition and the chaotic outcome of the last mission both mean that there are more people than usual who might unexpectedly interrupt, needing Erwin for something.  Being with Erwin feels strange now, as unkind a thought as Levi knows that surely is.  Despite Erwin’s insistences, and despite the fact that he really does seem to be doing well, the Erwin of days earlier, pale and still, lingers like the afterimage from staring too long at a bright light.  Levi hasn’t talked about it, of course, and neither has Erwin. Levi can’t quite kid himself into believing that this means that Erwin hasn’t noticed. 

-

          Soon after Levi and Erwin get back from their walk it’s time for dinner, and Levi ends up eating with Erwin, too.  They talk, not about anything particularly important, but the conversation goes long enough that eventually Levi notices that it’s gotten dark outside, and the sounds of activity from other parts of the building have died down considerably.  

          At some point, Levi’s wound up sitting next to Erwin on the bed, tucked against his left side with his good arm around Levi’s shoulders.  It’s warm, comfortable, and Levi’s able to come as close as he’s ever been to being able to put the events of the last week out of his mind.  

          He’s so comfortable, in fact, that he’s taken by surprise for a second when Erwin leans down to kiss him, the uncharacteristic stubble that’s been allowed to grow since Erwin’s injury scratchy on Levi’s cheek.  

          “You-“ Levi’s words are cut off by Erwin’s mouth, though there’s not much need for talking, anyway.  Erwin’s actions are more than clear enough, and Levi can’t really complain, though he does pull away when Erwin’s hand starts to travel from his shoulders down to his ass. “Is someone going to come in?”

          “Perhaps,” Erwin answers absentmindedly, leaning in for another kiss.  When Levi doesn’t go along, he sobers up a bit.  “I don’t think so, no.  And we’d be able to hear them coming, anyway.”  

          “Hmm.”  That shouldn’t really be good enough, but Levi’s horny too, and right now that feels like a more pressing issue than the risk of interruption.  

          Erwin hooks his arm around Levi, pulling Levi to his chest.  They’ve been like this countless times before, and the firm warmth of Erwin’s body is just the same as it’s always been, but the foreignness of the hospital bed, the fact that it’s one arm holding him instead of two, gnaws at the back of Levi’s mind.

          Erwin’s been wounded, gravely and recently.  Levi needs to be careful not to hurt what’s left of his other arm, not to ask too much of him too soon.  With that in mind, he pushes himself up so that he’s straddling Erwin’s lap.  Erwin looks ready to complain about having Levi out of his grasp, but he meets the kiss Levi leans back in for eagerly.

          Levi’s hands go to Erwin’s trousers – there are all kinds of things they can do that won’t require much exertion on Erwin’s part, anyway – but Erwin shifts beneath him.  “Wait.”

          Levi pauses, looking up at Erwin.  Erwin looks like a worn-out mess – pale, face unshaven, hair messy – but there’s something in his eyes that hasn’t changed at all, despite everything they’ve been through. Levi’s suddenly aware that something in his chest feels oddly tight.  He isn’t sure how long it’s been like that.   

          He swallows.  “What?”

          “Slow down.”  Erwin’s voice is soft and steady, and his hand is cupping the side of Levi’s face. “There’s no hurry, Levi.  And…” His voice gets a shade lower, more intimate. “You don’t have to do anything.”

          “Oh.”  Arousal and concern muddle inside of Levi, and it takes him a second to come up with a more coherent response.  “Are you sure?”

          “Of course.”  Erwin bumps Levi’s ass with his thigh, nudging him closer.  “You’ve hardly let me touch you lately.  Unless there’s something wrong?”

          The last part is matter-of-fact, but all seductiveness has suddenly vanished from Erwin’s demeanor.  Levi _knew_ that he had noticed something.

          “ _No_ ,” Levi says quickly. “Nothing’s wrong.  I…” His gaze has slid over to side, to the bandaged stump that’s all that remains of Erwin’s arm, and his voice dies off pathetically. What’s he doing?  What are any of them doing?  

          Erwin follows his gaze, eyes serious and tired.  After a second, he sighs.  “I understand.  It’s all right, Levi.  We don’t have to do anything.  I didn’t mean to-”  

          Fuck, this is _not_ heading in the right direction. “No, no,” Levi interrupts.  “You didn’t – it’s fine, I’m serious.”  

          Erwin’s watching him, blue eyes a little wider than before.  The palm of his remaining hand is still there, warm on Levi’s cheek.  

          “ _This_ -“ Levi waves a hand hurriedly in the direction of Erwin’s right shoulder, since it’s obviously too late to pretend that’s not what they’re talking about.  “Doesn’t make a difference to me.  Not like that, shit, Erwin.  I just – You shouldn’t be thinking about me, not now.  I don’t need anything.”

          “Oh,” Erwin says slowly.  “Oh, Levi.” Levi’s so busy looking at Erwin’s face, watching relief slowly dawn on his features, that he doesn’t really realize how much Erwin’s guiding him forward until their lips meet.  

          “I think,” Erwin whispers into his ear after they separate a few moments later, lips close enough to skin to make Levi shiver.  “That I’d like very much to think about you, just you, for a little bit. Would that be all right?”  

          His hand has somehow gotten down to Levi’s ass again.  The tightness in Levi’s chest has dissolved into something much more warm and pleasant.  He nods.

          Erwin gets him to lie down, stretched out with his feet by Erwin and his head near Erwin’s own feet.  Not for long, though, because Erwin shifts, getting to his knees on the bed with only a little bit of unsteadiness so that he’s looking down at Levi, eyes fond and hungry.

          Levi’s hot under his gaze, restless with anticipation.  He reaches for the buttons of his shirt, only to be stopped by Erwin.  “Wait.”

          Levi drops his hands, but has to squeeze handfuls of the blankets at his sides out of sheer impatience.  The worry that someone will walk in on them is so long-gone that it barely even registers anymore, but that doesn’t change the fact that Levi needs something _now_.  

          “I told you,” Erwin says.  His voice is rich, and so leisurely that Levi would complain if he wasn’t also helplessly caught up in whatever it is Erwin has in mind by this point.  “You don’t have to do anything.”  

          Levi swallows, hands white-knuckled in the sheets, cock hard in his trousers.  

          It’s initially something of a disappointment when Erwin reaches his arm out and takes Levi’s foot – his _foot_ , of all things -  but then Erwin raises it up carefully until his lips brush against the arch, and Levi thinks that it’s not so disappointing after all.  Erwin’s stubble scratches at the sensitive skin, and it takes some self control not to yank his foot back, but it’s not an altogether unpleasant sensation either.     Erwin kisses his sole again and again, light enough that it almost tickles, hand as gentle on Levi’s ankle as if it’s made of glass.  

          “You’re so weird,” Levi manages to say, letting out a breathy huff of laughter.

          Erwin’s eyes have been closed during the time that he’s been lavishing attention on Levi’s foot, but now he opens them just enough to give Levi a teasing look.  “It’s not weird.  Your feet are lovely.  And they’re perfectly clean, I’m sure.”  

          Levi’s frozen between responding indignantly that of _course_ his feet are clean, who does Erwin think he _is_ , and expressing his incredulity about the idea that his feet are, in fact, anything remotely like _lovely_ , but then Erwin pops Levi’s big toe into his mouth and sucks, and Levi suddenly learns that whether or not his feet are lovely, one thing they definitely are is very, very sensitive.  

          “Oh,” he gasps.  “Fuck, oh – okay.  Okay.”

          He’s thrown his head back so that he can’t see Erwin’s face for the moment, but Levi can feel the other man smile against his foot.  

          “Lovely feet,” Erwin repeats.  He sets Levi’s foot gently back down on the bed, and the hand that’s gripping Levi’s ankle slides up, giving the muscles of his calf a gentle squeeze.  “Lovely legs.”  He ducks down, plants another light kiss on Levi’s kneecap.  

          “Is this all you wanted to do?” Levi asks, struggling to sound deadpan in spite of the fact that this is all somehow exciting him more than it logically should, and that having Erwin like this, lavishing him with attention and at ease despite everything he’s gone through, is almost starting to make the odd tightness in his chest return.  

          “I wanted to treasure you,” Erwin says.   _Shit,_ Levi thinks, head falling back down onto the bed.  His face is way to red to respond to that in a dignified way, even if he could think of something to say.  

          “Levi, Levi.”  Erwin murmurs his name as if it’s some kind of prayer, hand traveling smoothly up the inside of his clothed thigh.  Levi holds his breath as the touch goes higher and higher, but just before Erwin reaches his crotch he lifts his hand, moving over to the other leg and starting to slide slowly back down.  Levi practically whines.

          “ _Fuck_ , Erwin-!”  

          “Shh,” Erwin hushes him.  “Just wait. I’m not going anywhere.”

          His hand suddenly grabs at Levi’s shirt, tugging it out from where it’s tucked into his trousers and sliding underneath.  Levi sucks in a noisy breath, twisting as if to move away even though that’s the last thing he wants.  

          Erwin’s hand caresses his stomach, thumb dipping into his navel.  “You’ve been doing so much, looking after me these past few days,” he murmurs.  “Don’t think I didn’t notice it, Levi.  Let me take care of you now.”  

          It feels as if all Levi can do is lie there and breathe, turned as soft and malleable as clay under Erwin’s touch.

          Erwin’s hand moves until it’s spanning Levi’s chest beneath his shirt, thumb and little finger brushing close to Levi’s nipples.  Erwin pauses, and Levi wonders if he’s taking notice of how fast Levi’s heart is beating.  

          “Take your shirt off, please,” Erwin requests.  

            Levi complies in all of about two seconds.  When he’s done, he looks to Erwin hopefully, waiting for permission to undress further, but it doesn’t come.  

          He’s sitting up now, and Erwin kisses him again before moving down, nipping at Levi’s throat and then Levi’s collarbone.  His hand comes to rest on Levi’s back, even though it’s absolutely unnecessary because Levi doesn’t need to be steadied at all, he can stay perfectly still long as he has to if that’s what Erwin wants.  

          “Someday,” Erwin murmurs into his skin, “I’ll spread you out in a proper bed, somewhere with nobody else around, and I’ll really be able to concentrate on you.”

          “Yeah,” Levi gasps, not bothering to ask what on earth _really_ concentrating on Levi would mean, compared to what Erwin’s doing now.  

          “I was going to say that I’d tie you up so that you’d have to be still for me,” Erwin continues.  He lifts his head enough to meet Levi’s face, the hint of something that’s a little too tender to be a smirk playing over his lips.   “But I wouldn’t have to do that, would I?  You can keep still just like this.  You’re wonderful.”

          Levi folds forward, resting his head on Erwin’s shoulder.  It’s his right side, and Levi’s still wary of leaning to heavily, of hurting Erwin.  Erwin rubs his back with his good hand.  He leans back just enough to kiss Levi’s face, brushing his lips against his forehead and cheeks and the tip of Levi’s nose.  

          Levi’s so hard that he’s almost ready to start humping Erwin’s leg.  “ _Erwin_ ,” he hisses.  

          “Yes?”  Erwin’s not quite successful at keeping a hint of a tease out of his voice.  His hand comes around Levi’s chest, fingers rolling one of Levi’s nipples before being slapped away.  If Erwin’s really so intent on giving Levi whatever he needs right now, Levi needs _more_.

          “Fuck me,” Levi demands.  It somehow feels wrong to speak too loudly, even though, by some stroke of luck, there haven’t been any sounds of activity from outside the room for quite a while now.

          Erwin smiles.  “On your back again.”  

          Levi flops backwards, hurried and relieved, but once again, Erwin stops him from touching his clothing.  

          “Come _on,_ ” Levi complains, somewhere between a whisper and a groan.  “Just let me get my pants off, okay?  I’ll leave the rest to you, I promise…”  

          Erwin places his hand low on Levi’s abdomen, bridging fabric and skin.  As Levi watches, wordless and a little scandalized, Erwin ducks down over him, until his mouth can replace his hand.  He plants one more kiss on Levi’s stomach, and then moves his head a little more, until Levi can feel Erwin catch Levi’s trousers in his teeth.  Levi can hardly breath, can’t do anything except lie there, perfectly still as Erwin starts to undress Levi with his teeth and his one hand, breath hot and moist over his cock.  

 


End file.
